Melancholy Mommy


I have such a case of the blahs.

There is nothing like job hunting to make a girl feel like a worthless piece of crap. It's way worse than dating. I have been applying for all sorts of jobs and it's really sad when I get excited because I receive the automated e-mail response that they received my application. Most of them don't bother to respond at all. They just leave me hanging. I understand that they get eleven million applications for each job, but still. Common courtesy would be nice. I would be happier with a "sorry, you are a huge loser and we wouldn't hire you to scrub our toilets" than to get the silent treatment. Well, maybe not.

So I apply and apply and there always seems to be someone better, more qualified, etc. for the job. But I keep doing it because a) I'm a masochist and b) presumably someone will decide to hire my sorry ass. And c) someday we really would like to buy a house and that's not really possible if I don't work.

I went to bed last night in a lousy mood, which makes it a bit difficult to fall asleep since I tend to obsess. Nothing like feeling like a failure to keep a girl up at night.

Since G was the one who brought up the evil subject of my joblessness, it was on him to change the subject and try to turn my brain off. We ended up talking about bridge bidding strategies and that really helped and I fell asleep. Yes, I am learning to play bridge.

And then, lovely guy that he is, he took the middle of the night baby feeding to let me continue to sleep. I married a good one. I'm glad I got that right.

Time to hug my baby and try to ease those blahs.