Power?
Apparently, it's all my fault. So, if you need someone to blame for something, no matter who small, blame me. Makes sense, right?
In an effort to smooth things over with the family, G spoke with BIL's W and learned that she seemed to have lots of issues with me. So I called her yesterday and spent a delightful 56 minutes on the cell phone with her for the pleasure of hearing how much I suck. She aired all of her grievances and every perceived offense and I apologized for ever hurting her feelings, if I had done so. How it must be my fault that G and his brother aren't close. How they would be close if only we lived near them because of course proximity always means closeness. How things were so much better before I showed up. Better for them, perhaps.
If only I would use my power for good...
But the thought that I would ever deliberately try to come between G and his family is not only absurd, but really offensive. Like I would ever do something like that? And that someone would think that of me? I guess someone has to be to blame and if they don't blame the newest person in the family, they might just have to accept that just because people are related doesn't mean they will be the best of buddies.
The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. I know it shouldn't matter to me, but it does. I hate that she could make me cry. I went out of my way to be nice and she just let me have it, but not directly. All passive aggressive all the time.
At least G doesn't think I ruined his life.
In an effort to smooth things over with the family, G spoke with BIL's W and learned that she seemed to have lots of issues with me. So I called her yesterday and spent a delightful 56 minutes on the cell phone with her for the pleasure of hearing how much I suck. She aired all of her grievances and every perceived offense and I apologized for ever hurting her feelings, if I had done so. How it must be my fault that G and his brother aren't close. How they would be close if only we lived near them because of course proximity always means closeness. How things were so much better before I showed up. Better for them, perhaps.
If only I would use my power for good...
But the thought that I would ever deliberately try to come between G and his family is not only absurd, but really offensive. Like I would ever do something like that? And that someone would think that of me? I guess someone has to be to blame and if they don't blame the newest person in the family, they might just have to accept that just because people are related doesn't mean they will be the best of buddies.
The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. I know it shouldn't matter to me, but it does. I hate that she could make me cry. I went out of my way to be nice and she just let me have it, but not directly. All passive aggressive all the time.
At least G doesn't think I ruined his life.
posted by JenL at
9:48 PM
4 Comments:
i'm sorry this happened! there's no reason for someone to say those things to you.
By
dizzy von damn!, at 11:13 AM
I think you nailed it when you said, "she seemed to have lots of issues with me." HER issues. Some people have very small lives. And the worst are the ones that have an incredible ability to project their own thoughts/behaviors/attitudes on some innocent bystander - preferably one that will take the abuse and not fight back.
I'm sorry; this sucks. You have every reason to feel angry and upset. And although its hard to remember when you're on the receiving end, I'm sure BIL's W is waaaaaay more miserable (generally) than she could ever hope to make you feel.
By
MonkeyGurrrrrl, at 12:24 PM
I am seeing RED.
To blame you. YOU. Of all people, for trying to get in between G and his family. You, who considered S your own in approximately one second, and love her fiercely. You, who has a stronger sense of family than just about anyone I know because you understand how little precious time we have with them.
No Jen. Whatever they perceive, they perceive because they have clearly not had the pleasure of knowing you for who and what you truly are.
And if they are unwilling or unable to get to know that you, then I feel sorry for their loss.
By
Auntie Sassy, at 8:52 PM
Of course it should matter to you. She attacked you! You've definitely taken the high road but remember next time that you don't have to again.
-- Nomi
By
Anonymous, at 8:49 PM
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